Even when life doesn’t go our way—when grief, illness, and hardship hit—we can still find blessings tucked into the struggle. This is my story of caregiving, loss, and a miracle in the middle of pain.
What About When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned?
Recently, I saw all the things people were thankful for… well, we did just celebrate Thanksgiving. I saw Facebook posts from friends feeling blessed because they had a good vacation, spent time with family, enjoyed good health, had a good job, or owned nice things.
That is truly wonderful.
But it made me wonder—
What about feeling blessed when things don’t exactly go your way?
A Year of Heartache
This past year was a rough one for me.
My dad went to Heaven in February. The weeks leading up to his passing were incredibly difficult. I had to be the one to tell him there wasn’t anything more that could be done. I had to say the words:
“Yes, Dad, you are dying.”
Even as I type this, I shake my head in disbelief.
I didn’t have that strength—it was God’s strength in me.
And even in that moment, I felt blessed.
I was there when my mom asked Dad, “Where are you going when you die, Herb?”
And with confidence, he pointed up to Heaven.
I miss him deeply… but I know I’ll see Daddy again.
Then Came Another Blow
Just months later, my mom’s health declined rapidly.
We had no idea that a tumor had been growing on her spine.
And when it started pressing against her nerves, it stole the feeling in her legs and flipped her life upside down.
After losing my dad, now she was in the hospital—where we discovered she had non hodgkin’s lymphoma.
Stepping into Caregiving
That was the moment everything changed for me. I became my mom’s caregiver, advocate, and voice. I needed to be with her every step of the way.
She barely remembers those early days, but I do.
I had to make difficult decisions—including confirming her DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) status more times than I can count.
They were words I never wanted to say.
But I said them. And through it all… I kept asking, “Where is the blessing in this?”
Finding the Blessing in a Bone Marrow Biopsy
Radiation worked—it zapped that awful tumor!
But after her treatment, her white cell count was off. Doctors feared cancer might have spread to her bone marrow. They recommended a bone marrow biopsy.
I cringed. I knew how painful it could be. My husband and father-in-law had both described it as the most painful thing they’d ever experienced. (Though, they’ve never been through childbirth—I still wonder which is worse!)
We agreed to move forward. My mom trusted my decision, though she didn’t know how painful the test might be.
A Long Hallway and a Short Prayer
We rolled down to the clinic. I was filled with anxiety and kept praying—
But not just for good results.
I prayed my mom would feel no pain.
We’d gotten to know the staff well, and their familiar faces brought comfort. I ran into a friend from church and asked her to pray too. Bob, the technician, knew my mom and helped ease the tension.
They took her in.
I went far down the hallway—I didn’t want to hear her cry out.
I’d already heard enough pain for one lifetime.
So there I was… hands clenched tightly in prayer, alone in a long hospital hallway.
It felt like a movie scene.
I stared at the door. I watched the red light flash.
And I talked to God more in that moment than I had in weeks.
The Miracle
When they brought my mom back out… she smiled.
She hadn’t felt a thing.
Not a single bit of pain.
She didn’t cry out.
She didn’t even flinch.
That, to me, was a miracle.
And the results?
Yes, they found a trace of cancer.
But it was insignificant.
The doctors said cancer would not be the cause of her death.
So Where’s the Blessing?
It’s easy to feel blessed when things are going well.
When there’s no struggle, no heartache, no uphill climb.
But what about the moments when life feels sucky?
(Yes, I said it—it was a sucky year.)
So much happened… and some things are still happening.
Still, I’ve learned this:
There are blessings even in the dark.
And while I would never minimize someone’s pain by saying “look on the bright side,”
I will say that it helps to look for the light. To find those small mercies that hold you up when life is hard.
I Don’t Have to See Him to Know
Some people say they don’t believe in God because they can’t see Him.
I understand that.
But I don’t have to see Him.
I know He’s there.
I’ve seen the evidence of His presence in my life—in my pain, my prayers, and in miracles like this.
That is what faith is.
That is what trust in God looks like.
He has a way of revealing Himself—quietly, powerfully, personally.
I don’t have to see Him to believe in Him.
He made that possible.