Learning acceptance has been one of the most important ways I cope with the reality of loving someone whose health feels more fragile.
I am the wife of a man who has had two heart attacks and who almost had a third but, by God’s grace, recognized the symptoms in time and got help before it became one. He now has three stents in his heart. He also has non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
It is in remission, but it will always be part of our lives, and learning acceptance has been one of the most important ways I cope with the reality of loving someone whose health feels more fragile.
The Quiet Worry That Never Fully Leaves
Because of all this, his health stays on my mind every single day in ways I never expected. When he sleeps later than usual, my thoughts go straight to worry. When he’s in his office and the house is quiet, I find myself calling out to him just to hear his voice, not because I need anything from him, but because I need to know he’s okay.
I don’t talk about this much, but it’s always there in the background, a steady awareness that life can change faster than we would like to admit.
Choosing Acceptance Over Panic
Some people might think I am strange for how I deal with this, but when it comes to the people I love, especially someone whose health may be more fragile, I prepare myself mentally. I work on accepting the fact that God may choose to take them home much sooner than I would ever want or expect. That mindset does not mean I lack faith. It actually helps me live with peace instead of constant panic.
I learned this years ago when my dad was diagnosed with COPD. From the time of his diagnosis, I began to prepare myself for his decline and eventually for his death. As hard as that sounds, it helped me accept what was coming instead of being completely undone by it when it happened. Acceptance has become very important in my life, because acceptance reminds me that God is in control and I am not.
Praying for Peace, Not Control
I pray often for God’s peace during these circumstances, because peace is not something I can create on my own. It has to come from Him.
I even had a conversation about this recently with my nephew, but it had to do with our pets. He had just lost his dog, and it was a deep blow for him. It was very difficult. I shared with him that although I love my dog Cooper dearly, I know our time together is limited. That is the reality with animals, and honestly, with people too. Knowing that does not lessen the love. If anything, it helps me treasure and savor the time we have right now.
Living Fully in Today
That same mindset helps me with my husband. I truly try to be grateful for every day we have together, and I mean that, even on the days when he gets on my nerves, maybe especially on those days, because that is still normal life happening. I do not take those moments lightly anymore.
Loving someone whose health has been fragile changes the way you think about time and control. It teaches you how little of either you really have, while also leaving you with a quiet fear that never fully goes away, no matter how strong your faith is.
I have learned that worrying does not keep him safe and it does not prevent anything from happening. It only steals peace from the day we have been given. So I do my best to stay in today, to trust God with tomorrow, and to accept what I cannot control.
Some days I do that well, and some days I don’t. But today he is here, and today I am thankful.