Finding Safety In Setting Boundaries

by | Dec 13, 2013 | The Redeemed Mess

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SETTING SAFE BOUNDARIES IS OKAY

Since I have an adorable 20-month-old grandchild, I can attest to the boundaries that a toddler needs! Believe me, he tries to cross them all the time! He has a good idea of how to get his Mommy’s attention. The biggest reason that little guy needs boundaries is SAFETY.

Barricade with words Safety in Boundaries

For me, learning to establish boundaries was a tough lesson. They’re like the safeguards I had as a child, designed to protect me, but now they shield me from emotional rather than physical harm. Boundaries aren’t barriers; they’re beneficial. They’re about being proactive, not reactive. By setting them early, we create a safe space that we don’t permit others to violate.

GET THIS BOOK!

In her book, “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are,” Lysa TerKeurst conveys that boundaries are not merely a good idea; they are a divine concept.

In the workplace, we are told not to talk about politics, religion, or sex, right? It’s just known. It’s inappropriate for the workplace because there could be too many heated arguments about these subjects and many opinions! We avoid conflicts as well as hurt feelings. Smart move! Not a bad idea for our personal lives? Who can you discuss religion with? Who can’t you? Who can you talk politics with? Who can’t you? Get the picture? There are some people you just don’t “go there” with! Either they can’t handle the discussion because they will not like what you have to say, or you might not like what they have to say either!

I am setting boundaries. They might not be the same for everybody across the board. I have some people I can talk to about anything, like sex. There are some people I wouldn’t ever dream of talking about it with (MOM). That’s okay! I am sure she doesn’t want to talk to me about it either! I am good! I will avoid unnecessary arguments with people by taking the time to create my boundaries and apply them to whoever needs them! This will keep me safe!

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